Call center bloopers

CALL CENTER BLOOPERS ...but they say Filipinos are
among the best call center operators around! Here are
real incidents from our call center subsidiary which
does outbound telemarketing to US households. The
comments in parenthesis were added in by a project
manager whose job it is to audit some of the calls at
random. He started circulating these anecdotes
internally. Pinoy humor in real life.(CSR - Customer
Service Representative)

1. CSR: Do you have any child so we could send out
these gifts to you? CLIENT: I'm sorry but i don't have
any child. CSR: Oh i understand, what about any
grandchild? (wala ngang anak di ba, asa ka pang may
apo)

2. CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know your
child's bday? CLIENT: I don't know her bday. . . CSR:
Oh come on, it's your responsibility to know your
child's bday. (tarayan ba ang customer?)

3. CLIENT: (mad) how many times do i have to tell you
i didn't purchase any card! CSR: Ma'am, i'm talking
about a 'car', a toy car, not a card. CLIENT: but i
said i didn't purchase any card! CSR: No ma'am, not a
card, what i mean is a car, an automotive. (baka ibig
mong sabihin automobile)

4. a. CLIENT: What is that space bag bulk storage
system? (By the way, a space bag is a big bag, not
sure if it's made of plastic, which size adjusts
depending! on the amount of air you vacuum out) CSR:
(with limited product knowledge) Well sir, it's some
kind of a space bag, it's like a storage system where
you put your things. (salamat sa explanation) b.
CLIENT: What is this space bag? CSR: (basta may masabi
lang) ah sir, it's the thing worn by astronauts.
(kakaiba tong taong to) BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE IS NOW
ONE AMONG THE FEW SELECTED TRAINORS. c. CSR: We are
giving you a free gift. You can either have the space
bug bulk storage system or . . . CLIENT: What the hell
is a space bug? (a single letter spelled the big
difference)

5. CLIENT: What is this squeeze wrench? CSR: It's a
wrench that you squeeze for better grip. (huh?)

6. CLIENT: I won't allow you telemarketers to fool me.
Nothing in this world is for free. Now tell me the
catch! CSR: (medyo napikon at umisip ng pambawi) Ah
sir, have you ever listened to the Beatles? CLIENT:
Well what about it? CSR: What does their song say
about the best things in life? CLIENT: It's free....
but you know what ... CSR: (bangs the phone before the
client could start with his stuff. (YIKES)

7. CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city of
birth? CLIENT: What? CSR: Your city of birth? CLIENT:
What? i can't quite hear you. CSR: (irita na) I said
your city of birth, the place of your born! (nagalit
pa)

8. In the initial calling days, we were encouraged to
go verbatim as little as possible. Stick to the
script! Seems like a good practice right? (except for
some special incidents). CSR: So how is your car wash
gadget? CLIENT: It was a piece of junk! (irate) CSR:
Oh that's nice to hear from you, sir! (at least
nag-stick sa script)

9. CSR: As a way of expressing our gratitude, we are
sending your choice of free gift. You could either
have a Bushnell binoculars..... CLIENT: What is a
binocular? CSR: It's the thing you use to make far
objects appear closer. CLIENT: I don't get it. CSR:
You know, it's the thing you use when you look out the
window.... CLIENT: I'm sorry but i really don't know
it. CSR: (a bright idea came about) ah! sir, have you
ever seen a telescope? CLIENT: Yup! CSR: All you do
now is get one telescope on your right hand, and
another one on the left, put them together, look at
the eyepieces and there you have binoculars. CLIENT:
Oh, you mean binoculars! (may point tong CSR na to
noh?)

10. CSR: Yes, may i talk to mr. _ _ _ _ _ ? CLIENT:
He's not around, is there anything i can do for you?
CSR: It's ok, i just called to inform him that because
he purchased an item from us, he is entitled to
receive a free gift item. Anyway, i'll just call him
back. CLIENT: Really? would you like me to give you
his mobile phone no. so you can get in touch with him.
CSR: Ok! (CSR noticed that the cell no. lacks the
first four digits, he forgot that he was talking to US
people, so he asked) Is it Globe or Smart? CLIENT:
pardon? CSR: (realizing he committed a mistake) oh, i
said i'll just try to contact him......

11. A newly hired CSR just made his first sale . .
CSR: Yes! (sabay lagok sa coffee ng katabi nya) (tama
ba namang ma-carried away)

12. Note: It is a common practice in SVI-connect that
a coach sits beside a first timer Another newly hired
CSR (good looking) just made his first sale (or should
I say her first sale). Anyway, here is her, I mean his
story : CSR: (extremely tense while pitching. From
time to time, he looked at his coach to verify if he
is doing the right things. Coach approved. Finally,
after a few minutes of persuading the client to accept
the offer, he was able to close the deal. He became so
delighted that he faced his coach (who happens to be
an attractive lady), embraced her, and said 'thank you
mommy!' (BUMIGAY ANG BRUHA!)

13. CSR: We are giving away a free miniature car for
free just because you purchased a product from us
before. Well anyway sir, do you happen to be a car
collection? (mas maganda yatang pakinggan kung car
collector)

14. CSR: ... and as a safeguard to show that i really
did talk to you, may i have your city of birth, the
place where you were born? CLIENT: Inglewood CSR:
Where sir? In the woods? You were born in the woods?
(Sino yan, si Tarzan?)


enjoyy....