Janina San Miguel Remix

Binibining Pilipinas

Janina San Miguel's answer. REMIX Versions...

Janina San Miguel by DJ Shan


Janina San Miguel Dance Remix by DJ Jc Jubas.

Iputok mo sa Labas

Iputok mo sa Labas

Featuring:
Ramon Bautista as Carding
Tado Jimenez as Efren Reynes III
Angel Rivero as Neknek (ang babaeng patapon)
Boy Badtrip as Voice Over



Nakakatawa siya dahil sa script at gamit ng mga salita. Maganda ang kwento niya na sumasalamin sa realidad. Isang probinsyanong nangarap na tumira sa maynila upang maging skwater. Pinakita rin dito ang pag kontrol at pagkasakim ng mga naghaharing uri. Isang realidad na nangyayari sa ating bansa. May mga kulturang Pilipino din na pinakita dito tulad na lamang ng pagiging konserbatibo ng isang Pilipina.

Isang magandang kwento at epektibong paraan ng pagpapakita ng tunay na nangyayari sa kasalukuyan sa pamamaraang hindi nakakainip. Komedyang may sipa sa bawat Pilipino.

My Boss and his Underdog.

My Boss and his Underdog.

thanks to ico for the pic… nice job.

Spongbob found dead.

Spongebob died.

Execise your brain

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

There are only 5 questions,





1. What do you put in a toaster?




























Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' maybe you should give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.





















2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?
























Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' maybe you shouldn't even attempt to answer the next question. Your brain is apparently over-stressed and may even overheat.

Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.








3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?






















Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these?

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.



4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall , Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane crashes on the border. In which country are the survivors buried?
























Answer: You don't bury survivors.

2/19/08 joke.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.

Q. What's the definition of trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Q. What's the difference between a sleeper and a pregnant dog?
A. sleeper's crappity smack everyone at the party, Bitches crappity smack everyone at the party except you.

Q. What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say to clients as they are leaving?
A. Thanks for coming.

Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is crappity smacking her.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What is the lightest thing in the world?
A. A thingy...even a thought can raise it.

Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.

Q. What does a female snail say during sex?
A. Faster, faster, faster!

Q. What did the woman say to her swimming instructor?
A. "Will I really drown if you take your finger out?"

Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.

Q. How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.

Q. What's the difference between Mad Cow disease and PMS?
A. Nothing.

Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A. "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence!

Q. What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A. I can't see a thing with all this nuts in here!

Q. Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A. They went outside to exchange blows.

Q. Why did god give men penises?
A. So they'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up


ENjoy...

joke joke joke...

Pare1: Pre, pautang muna ng 5 kilong bigas, 3 lata ng corned beef saka 5 lata ng sardinas, bayaran ko agad pagdating ni misis galing US.

Pare2: Sige eto oh. Hmmm.. Kelan ba ang uwi ni mare?

Pare1: Nagaapply palang. pero malaki daw ang pagasa.

======================

Mommy: Bagsak ka na naman! Bat d mo gayahin bestfriend mo?! Palaging honor!

Anak: Unfair naman kung ikukumpara nyoko dun mommy...

Mommy: Bakit naman?

Anak: Eh matalino kaya nanay nun...


======================

BED TALK... naiibang anyo.

2 couples decided to switch partners for the night.

after a round of sizzling sex...





one said "ayos ka. pinaligaya mo ko...








































....kumusta na kaya mga misis natin?"

Call center bloopers

CALL CENTER BLOOPERS ...but they say Filipinos are
among the best call center operators around! Here are
real incidents from our call center subsidiary which
does outbound telemarketing to US households. The
comments in parenthesis were added in by a project
manager whose job it is to audit some of the calls at
random. He started circulating these anecdotes
internally. Pinoy humor in real life.(CSR - Customer
Service Representative)

1. CSR: Do you have any child so we could send out
these gifts to you? CLIENT: I'm sorry but i don't have
any child. CSR: Oh i understand, what about any
grandchild? (wala ngang anak di ba, asa ka pang may
apo)

2. CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know your
child's bday? CLIENT: I don't know her bday. . . CSR:
Oh come on, it's your responsibility to know your
child's bday. (tarayan ba ang customer?)

3. CLIENT: (mad) how many times do i have to tell you
i didn't purchase any card! CSR: Ma'am, i'm talking
about a 'car', a toy car, not a card. CLIENT: but i
said i didn't purchase any card! CSR: No ma'am, not a
card, what i mean is a car, an automotive. (baka ibig
mong sabihin automobile)

4. a. CLIENT: What is that space bag bulk storage
system? (By the way, a space bag is a big bag, not
sure if it's made of plastic, which size adjusts
depending! on the amount of air you vacuum out) CSR:
(with limited product knowledge) Well sir, it's some
kind of a space bag, it's like a storage system where
you put your things. (salamat sa explanation) b.
CLIENT: What is this space bag? CSR: (basta may masabi
lang) ah sir, it's the thing worn by astronauts.
(kakaiba tong taong to) BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE IS NOW
ONE AMONG THE FEW SELECTED TRAINORS. c. CSR: We are
giving you a free gift. You can either have the space
bug bulk storage system or . . . CLIENT: What the hell
is a space bug? (a single letter spelled the big
difference)

5. CLIENT: What is this squeeze wrench? CSR: It's a
wrench that you squeeze for better grip. (huh?)

6. CLIENT: I won't allow you telemarketers to fool me.
Nothing in this world is for free. Now tell me the
catch! CSR: (medyo napikon at umisip ng pambawi) Ah
sir, have you ever listened to the Beatles? CLIENT:
Well what about it? CSR: What does their song say
about the best things in life? CLIENT: It's free....
but you know what ... CSR: (bangs the phone before the
client could start with his stuff. (YIKES)

7. CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city of
birth? CLIENT: What? CSR: Your city of birth? CLIENT:
What? i can't quite hear you. CSR: (irita na) I said
your city of birth, the place of your born! (nagalit
pa)

8. In the initial calling days, we were encouraged to
go verbatim as little as possible. Stick to the
script! Seems like a good practice right? (except for
some special incidents). CSR: So how is your car wash
gadget? CLIENT: It was a piece of junk! (irate) CSR:
Oh that's nice to hear from you, sir! (at least
nag-stick sa script)

9. CSR: As a way of expressing our gratitude, we are
sending your choice of free gift. You could either
have a Bushnell binoculars..... CLIENT: What is a
binocular? CSR: It's the thing you use to make far
objects appear closer. CLIENT: I don't get it. CSR:
You know, it's the thing you use when you look out the
window.... CLIENT: I'm sorry but i really don't know
it. CSR: (a bright idea came about) ah! sir, have you
ever seen a telescope? CLIENT: Yup! CSR: All you do
now is get one telescope on your right hand, and
another one on the left, put them together, look at
the eyepieces and there you have binoculars. CLIENT:
Oh, you mean binoculars! (may point tong CSR na to
noh?)

10. CSR: Yes, may i talk to mr. _ _ _ _ _ ? CLIENT:
He's not around, is there anything i can do for you?
CSR: It's ok, i just called to inform him that because
he purchased an item from us, he is entitled to
receive a free gift item. Anyway, i'll just call him
back. CLIENT: Really? would you like me to give you
his mobile phone no. so you can get in touch with him.
CSR: Ok! (CSR noticed that the cell no. lacks the
first four digits, he forgot that he was talking to US
people, so he asked) Is it Globe or Smart? CLIENT:
pardon? CSR: (realizing he committed a mistake) oh, i
said i'll just try to contact him......

11. A newly hired CSR just made his first sale . .
CSR: Yes! (sabay lagok sa coffee ng katabi nya) (tama
ba namang ma-carried away)

12. Note: It is a common practice in SVI-connect that
a coach sits beside a first timer Another newly hired
CSR (good looking) just made his first sale (or should
I say her first sale). Anyway, here is her, I mean his
story : CSR: (extremely tense while pitching. From
time to time, he looked at his coach to verify if he
is doing the right things. Coach approved. Finally,
after a few minutes of persuading the client to accept
the offer, he was able to close the deal. He became so
delighted that he faced his coach (who happens to be
an attractive lady), embraced her, and said 'thank you
mommy!' (BUMIGAY ANG BRUHA!)

13. CSR: We are giving away a free miniature car for
free just because you purchased a product from us
before. Well anyway sir, do you happen to be a car
collection? (mas maganda yatang pakinggan kung car
collector)

14. CSR: ... and as a safeguard to show that i really
did talk to you, may i have your city of birth, the
place where you were born? CLIENT: Inglewood CSR:
Where sir? In the woods? You were born in the woods?
(Sino yan, si Tarzan?)


enjoyy....

Jokes for the day

Sisimulan ko ang daily dose of korni jokes. wehehehe.. kase wala pang pics na maipost eh.

Isang babae ang nagpunta sa ospital.

Chick: Doc magpapacheck up po sana.
Doc: Sige iha, hubarin mo na lahat ng damit mo tapos higa ka.
Chick: Hindi po ako itong Lola ko.
Doc: Sige Lola upo kayo dito tapos hinga malalim

======================

Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're?
Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo?
Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban!

======================

Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!

======================

wahahahaha... enjoy